Beyond bleach

For many years I lived under the heavy burden of the reality of my own sin. I wanted to follow God, I wanted to do what is right, I wanted to not give in to sin, I just didn't know how. And so this subtle shift began in my life; I went from focusing on trying to stop sinning to focusing on punishing myself for my sin.

I remember one afternoon in high school when no one else was at home, I went into my bedroom and shut the door, I pulled off my shirt and took my belt and began to whip myself. It was all I had left. The burden was so great.

I knew that God had forgiven me time and again, I knew that he would continue to forgive me, I just had this picture of Him standing above me with His arms folded and shaking His head saying, "Ok, one more time....but you're really testing my patience here little man!"

Isaiah 1:18, "Come now, let us reason together says the Lord: though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool."

What I have come to realize is a new momentum in my life, a moving toward God and not just halting the downhill slide away from Him. I have come to realize that God is primarily concerned with movement. He pleads with Israel and Judah to return to Him, to stop wandering further and further from Him and simply return. In this he does not talk about the covering over of their transgressions, their sins, but instead a complete and total fresh start. "...though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool." This is the transformation of one thing into another; scarlet to white, crimson to wool. This is so beyond bleach.

This song of David in Psalm 103 sealed a new momentum for me, starting in vs. 8:

The Lord is merciful and gracious,
slow to anger and abounding in
steadfast love.
He will not always chide,
nor will He keep his anger forever.
He does not deal with us according to
our sins,
nor repay us according to our
iniquities.
For as high as the heavens are above the
earth,
so great is His steadfast love toward
those who fear Him;
as far as the east is from the west,
so far does He remove our
transgressions from us.
As a father shows compassion to his
children,
so the Lord shows compassion to
those who fear Him.
For He knows our frame;
He remembers that we are dust.
He remembers that we are dust.
He remembers that we are dust.
He remembers that we are dust.

Bleaching a blood stain out of a pair of jeans is ok, but the jeans will never be the same. A new pair of jeans, well, the blood was just never there...

This is beyond bleach, this is a brand new life from above.