Over the last couple of years, Jess and I have been putting this quote to the test. The wind blows a certain way in our little town, and gusts through our even littler churches (yes, pun intended). Our intent wasn't to go against the wind, we simply were naive enough to believe that if you worked hard enough at it, you could actually redirect the wind.
Like I said, naive...
Nonetheless, we did rise. Please don't misunderstand me here, I'm not talking about popularity or fame or wealth or status or power or any of these traditional measures; I am talking about rising in our understanding of who we are as children of God and active citizens of His Kingdom.
We saw miracles, we saw relationships form and develop that we would have never imagined, we saw individuals draw together in passionate causes that I believe will never allow them to live "normal" lives again. We saw God...we saw Him in His people.
But we were blown around a bit too, and I suppose that it is simple common sense...for one who is not naive.
See, this is where we have risen against the wind as well. Wind has a way of shaping the one's view of things who has the audacity to stand against it.
I am no longer naive.
Naivety is easily seen in the face of a child who leaps off of the edge of the dock into the waiting arms of her daddy. Not a thought in the world as to whether or not those arms will actually catch her. Whether those arms can actually catch her. Simple trust radiating from the beaming smile as she just...leaps.
At some point in our growing up we begin to become aware of another thought, a foreign thought, a ridiculous thought to a 3 year old; what if daddy's arms aren't there?
This thought changes everything. This thought opens up the realm of harm, of pain, of suffering, of fear, of motive, of intent, and so on. It makes us long for the foregone days of naivety. It makes us suffer because we know that once we have had this thought, we can never return.
Several months ago Jess and I chose to make another leap against the wind. We packed up and moved away from our very busy, very involved, but very secure and meaningful life in our little town for a city. We had many reasons, none of which made the move easy, but we knew that the wind had shifted and we could glide its currents indefinitely, or we could tack and rise again.
We chose to leap into the wind.
It's amazing how powerful the wind can be. It's amazing how it can seemingly buffet you from all directions at once. It's amazing how painfully loud it can scream in your ears.
This leap has left us with a defining question, can God be trusted?
I have come to see this question as the single most defining question that any person must answer, whom will I trust?
I must trust someone, there is no other option. There is no vacuum of faith as some would like to posit, the question is one of where you will place your faith, your confidence, your trust.
Sadly, and naively, and sometimes rebelliously, many choose...me, myself, I. "I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul."
We must trust someone, we must follow someone, we will have a god...
The problem I have is that most everything is outside of my control. If I am to be my own god, I make a pretty shitty one indeed. I can't even make my dog come back to me when she decides to run away. How then am I to trust myself for things that actually matter.
Jesus' good news, His gospel is that He can handle my life. God, whom He called Daddy, actually has the power to live life as it was intended to be lived, and He offers that power to me, fully dependent on Him.
The question remains, can He be trusted?
My answer...what other option, of the myriad that exist, is a better one?
:)
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